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Buffalo News commentary with comments by Brian Crow

Donn Esmonde: Abuse is not team ‘tradition’
Buffalo News

It is your kid in the back of the bus. Think of it that way. Imagine that your son is riding on the Wilson High School baseball team bus. View the situation through that lens. That, to me, is when this picture comes into focus.

Three varsity baseball players are charged with felony sexual abuse of two junior varsity players last month on the bus. Police say the older players forced an object into a private body opening of a JV player. Two coaches on the bus, who also teach in Wilson schools, were charged with endangering the welfare of a child due to lax supervision.

Ratchet up the level of outrage. Law enforcement sources last week said there was a similar incident of sexual harassment — unreported by the coach to the principal, for unfathomable reasons — last year on the Wilson baseball team bus. After that, a coach rode in the back with the players. This year, the coaches — who as teachers are required by law to report suspicions of sexual abuse — again rode in front.

If I had a son, I would not want him riding in that bus.

The usual rite of passage of, say, JV kids carrying the varsity’s bat bags devolved, investigators say, to a JV player being sexually violated. It apparently happened in Wilson. But do not be smug. It could happen anywhere.

It could happen at any school where hazing is a habit, where coaches condone humiliation, where abuse is a twisted tradition. It can happen any place where adults dismiss abuse with a wink and a nod.

Any delusions that what reportedly happened is “normal” evaporated with the arrest of two coaches and three players.

Then again, you never know. Most folks at a recent town meeting reportedly seemed most concerned about the stain on the town’s image and the coaches’ reputations. The fate of the alleged victims was an afterthought. I give those kids a lot of credit for coming forward, given the fallout that they knew would follow.

“Sadly, there is a tendency in a community to ostracize the victims,” said Brian Crow, an associate professor at Pennsylvania’s Slippery Rock University. “They get blamed if the season gets canceled. People say it was an isolated incident. Folks talk about what great guys the coaches are. All of which further victimizes the victims.”

Crow has studied sports hazing for the past decade. He said that sexual abuse on sports teams is growing.

It is not right. It is not healthy. It is not excusable.

Disagree? Then imagine it is your kid in the back of that bus.

Young people, sadly, sometimes do stupid things to be part of a fraternity, a club or a team. Much of the time, experts say, the victims think of it not as abuse but as “tradition.”

It is not “tradition” when the culture crosses the line. At worst, said Crow, victims become perpetrators — carrying on the team “tradition” when they get older by victimizing younger players.

I do not want my kid riding on that bus. I want a team culture that is built on respect, on sportsmanship, on caring. I want a culture built on heathy values.

Sexual abuse is not a “tradition.” Humiliation is not a team value. Bullying is not bonding.

This is what happens when coaches are blind or look the other way. This is what happens when parents shrug off abuse as “boys will be boys.” This is what happens when a community blames the victims.

It is Wilson today. It could be somewhere else tomorrow.

By Hank Nuwer

Journalist Hank Nuwer tracks hazing deaths in fraternities and schools. Nuwer is the Alaska author of Hazing: Destroying Young Lives; Broken Pledges: The Deadly Rite of Hazing, High School Hazing, Wrongs of Passage and The Hazing Reader. In April of 2024, the Alaska Press Club awarded him first place in the Best Columnist division and Best Humorist, second place.

He has written articles or columns on hazing for the Sunday Times of India, Toronto Globe & Mail, Harper's Magazine, Orlando Sentinel, The Chronicle of Higher Education and the New York Times Sunday Magazine. His current book is Hazing: Destroying Young Lives from Indiana University Press. He is married to Malgorzata Wroblewska Nuwer of Warsaw, Poland and Fairbanks, Alaska. Nuwer is a former columnist for the Greenville (Ohio)Early Bird and former managing editor of the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner in Alaska.
Nuwer was named the Ohio Society of Professional Journalists columnist of the year in 2021 for his “After Darke” column in the Early Bird. He also won third place for the column in 2022 from the Indiana chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists. He and his wife Gosia, recently of Union City, Ind., have owned 20 acres in Alaska for many years. “The move is a sort-of coming home for us,” said Nuwer. As a journalist, he’s written about the Alaskan Iditarod sled-dog race and other Alaska topics. Read his musings in his blog at Real Alaska Daily--http://realalaskadaily.com and in his weekly column "Far from Randolph" in the Winchester Star-Gazette of Randolph County, Indiana.

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