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Changing a culture

>
Forwarded from Doug Case’s newsletter:

National Sexuality Resource Center
>Posted June 4, 2009
>http://www.alternet.org/story/140416/
>
>Why Is the Frat Boy Culture So Sleazy and Sex-Crazed?
>
>By Nicholas L. Syrett, National Sexuality Resource Center
>
>In the late 1980s the Florida News Herald reported that a Florida State
>University student had been gang raped by some fraternity brothers.
>Allegedly, the attackers painted the Greek letters of their house on her
>thighs, symbolically claiming her as they had also claimed her through
>sexual assault.
>
>In 2001 Dartmouth College’s campus newspaper, The Dartmouth, published
>graphic excerpts from Zeta Psi’s weekly newsletters in which brothers
>described their sexual encounters:
>
>”She’s baaaaackk. And she’s dirtier than ever[;] if young [female name]
>hooks up with one more Zete, I’m going to need a flow chart to keep up.”
>
>”Commenting on [Brother B]’s chances for a highly-coveted spot in the
>Manwhore Hall of Shame, [Brother C] said, ‘Are you kidding me? Rancid
>snatch like that makes you a fucking lock.’”
>
>”Next week: [Brother X]’s patented date rape techniques!”
>
>These two examples — a gang rape fraught with symbolism and the
>misogynist publication describing sexual exploits — are clearly extreme,
>but both of them are the logical outcome of a culture of masculine
>supremacy and sexual exploitation that has made its home in some college
>fraternities since the 1920s. While most do not participate in such acts,
>there is ample evidence to show that many, if not most, fraternity members
>are expected to report on sex they have for the entertainment of their
>entire house. College fraternities — currently numbering three hundred
>fifty thousand undergraduate brothers with more than four million alumni
>– have become a haven for a masculinity that takes sexual conquest as one
>of its defining characteristics. Indeed, the social science literature of
>the past three decades has shown that fraternity men are more likely than
>their nonaffiliated classmates to rape women, and some studies have
>estimated that as many as 70 to 90 percent of repor! ted campus gang rapes
>are committed by members of fraternities. This makes fraternities a
>dangerous place for the women who frequent their houses and attend their
>parties. In their sexist logic — and in their own words — “Brothers Over
>Babes” or “Bros Before Hos.”
>
>But fraternities and the men who join them have not always behaved this
>way. So where did the culture of sexual exploitation and masculine
>bragging come from? Clearly, the men’s behavior is a product of time,
>place, and cultural circumstance, not simply an instance of “boys will be
>boys.” Nor is the behavior a natural outcome of all-male organizations, as
>even fraternities themselves have not always behaved this way.
>
>Dating, ‘Homosexuality,’ and Frat Culture
>
>In the early twentieth century two phenomena that we now take to be
>commonplace were invented. The first was dating and the second was
>homosexuality as a discrete identity category. Both have impacted
>fraternity culture. Dating arrived on college campuses in the 1920s.
>Fraternities, established a century earlier in the 1820s, and sororities,
>which had been founded on some college campuses by the 1870s, were the
>hubs of the collegiate dating scene. With rare exceptions fraternity men
>and sorority women dated each other in an exacting scale that was governed
>by each organization’s popularity. The reputations of the individual
>brothers and sisters and thus of their collective memberships were in part
>determined by whom they dated. Fraternity members were judged by their
>attractiveness, their charm, and by what they called “their line,” the
>verbal method they used to make themselves appealing to young women.
>Popularity — evaluated through dating women — came to define! a properly
>enacted collegiate masculinity. And fraternity men themselves knew this;
>they picked new members based on the perceived expectation of potential
>brothers to attract women. As Dartmouth’s Zeta Psi boasted in 1924,
>”Brother ‘Stan’ Lonsdale has improved the already magnificent reputation
>he had attained in past years as Lothario and Don Juan put together, and
>as representative in the chapter in all women’s colleges within a radius
>of several hundred miles.”
>
>This celebration of men’s attractiveness to women necessitated a
>concurrent demand that brothers themselves recognize what made a man
>attractive. They had to come to terms with themselves as men evaluating
>other men’s good looks.
>
>In a world like that of the nineteenth century United States, where there
>was little recognition of a homosexual subculture and where most men could
>not conceive of a man ! whose sexual desires were centered exclusively on
>other men, this would not have been a problem. But by the 1920s fraternity
>men did not live in such a world. They still don’t. By the early twentieth
>century — thanks to sexologists, Oscar Wilde, Sigmund Freud (and his
>popularizers), as well the very people who identified with the label
>”homosexual” or “invert” — that some men were in fact attracted
>exclusively to other men was widely understood. It was also at this time
>that masculinity itself became yoked exclusively to heterosexuality in a
>decisive refutation of homosexuality.
>
>Thus, at precisely the moment when fraternity men were becoming highly
>conscious of the characteristics that made males attractive to females,
>and were indeed evaluating their brothers based on these characteristics,
>they were simultaneously coming to terms with the possible meanings of
>these evaluations. They were also in the compromising position of being
>members of organizations tha! t enrolled only single men, organizations
>that, through shared living! , bathing, sleeping, and erotic hazing
>practices, fostered an atmosphere of camaraderie, intimacy, and loyalty
>that most found to be the fraternity’s biggest selling point.
>
>They were caught between a rock and a hard place, even more so when some
>fraternities actually did turn out to be havens for homosexually inclined
>students, as my own research indicates, and as Dorothy Dunbar Bromley and
>Florence Haxton Britten found in their fascinating 1938 study, Youth and
>Sex. From the 1920s onwards fraternity men have responded to this dilemma
>with the enactment of particularly active dating and sexual lives designed
>to refute suspicions of homosexuality and to assert heterosexuality, and
>thus masculinity. These practices have only increased throughout the
>twentieth century, in part as a reaction to the intensified denigration of
>homosexuality at mid-century and as a result of the increasing sexual
>permissiveness of college women in the wake of the sexual revolution of!
>the 1960s.
>
>These were not conscious choices made by fraternity men, however. Rather,
>they were gradual changes over generations in response to cultural shifts
>like the advent of dating and the emergence of modern conceptions of
>homosexuality. It is also clear that these two phenomena are by no means
>exclusive to men in fraternities. That said, because fraternities remain
>organizations made up exclusively of single men, organizations that choose
>to haze their initiates in explicitly homoerotic ways and that foster an
>intimacy among men not common in society more generally, they compensate
>for what might be perceived by outsiders as either feminine or gay
>behavior by enacting a masculinity that takes aggressive heterosexuality
>as one of its constitutive elements. This often has adverse effects for
>the women with whom they interact.
>
>Misogyny Rules when Sex Takes Center Stage
>
>By the 1960s, as a result of the sexual revolution, college women were
>more willing to have sex before marriage. Fraternity men thus turned to
>them not just for dates but also for sex, rather than to the prostitutes
>and working-class women of earlier eras who had previously met their
>needs. In 1957 two sociologists found that fraternity members were
>particularly likely to have attempted to take advantage of their female
>dates, some using “menacing threats or coercive infliction of physical
>pain.” Fraternity men in one 1960s study, despite having more sex than
>their nonaffiliated peers, expressed the highest rates of dissatisfaction
>because, in the estimation of the sociologists, the pressure upon them to
>have sex was so much greater. Finally, in 1967 sociologist Eugene Kanin
>concluded: “Erotic achievement is now evaluated by taking into account the
>desirability of the sex object and the nature of its acquisition. A
>successful ‘snow job’ on an attractive but re! luctant female who may be
>rendered into a relatively dependable sex outlet and socially desirable
>companion is considerably more enhancing than an encounter with a
>prostitute or a ‘one night stand’ with a ‘loose’ reputation.” Sex was
>being used explicitly to bolster a man’s reputation amongst his fraternity
>brothers.
>
>By the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries, fraternity men had
>built upon some of these traditions and elaborated others as well. For
>example, fraternities foster an atmosphere where long-term intimate
>relationships with women are actually discouraged. As Allen DeSantis has
>shown in his recent book, Inside Greek U, many fraternity men perceive
>their brothers’ girlfriends as a threat both to the time that the brothers
>might spend with the fraternity as well as to their loyalty to the
>brotherhood. Casual sex is valued more highly because it can be chronicled
>in a way that many are unwilling to do when it comes to the sex they have
>with girlfriends. Regular reporting on each member’s “conquests” further
>cements the bonds of brotherhood. This emphasis upon casual sex is part of
>a bigger problem, however. Social scientists have demonstrated that it
>places pressure on men who are not otherwise having sex to do so in order
>to save face, and this can lead to sexual assault. In order to ensure that
>brothers always have a steady supply of sexual partners, fraternities
>throw regular parties, often replete with grain alcohol punch. The parties
>are designed to supply intoxicated women who will either consent — or
>succumb — to sex.
>
>Two other practices are also worthy of note. Some fraternity men take
>pleasure either in watching their brothers have sex with women or in being
>watched as they do so. One brother interviewed by anthropologist Michael
>Moffatt for his book Coming of Age in New Jersey put it this way: “When my
>friends pick up chicks and bring them back to the fraternity house
>everyone else runs to the window to look at somebody else domineer a girl
>and I tell you what you almost get the same satisfaction. Some of the guys
>like to put on a show by doing grosser things each time. . . . Watching my
>friends have sex with other girls is almost as satisfying as doing it
>myself. . . . By the same token I enjoy conquering girls and having people
>watch.”
>
>The view of women as objects of domination seems to preclude any
>understanding that women might be acting on their own desires. That they
>are exploiting these women — regardless of the women’s own feelings or
>desires — goes without saying for this brother. Indeed, he uses the verb
>”conquering” to describe what seems to be otherwise consensual sex.
>Finally, some brothers simply compete with each other to see who can have
>the most sexual encounters in a year. Like the infamous Spur Posse of
>1990s Lakewood, California, these men keep a tally to determine who is the
>winner in a competition that has little with to do with the pleasure that
>may be gained from sexual acts themselves, and everything to do with
>bolstering one’s self-esteem and reputation through the perceived
>connections between masculinity and sexual exploitation. It is predicated
>on a double standard that sees women as lesser than men and as possessing
>something that must be coerced from them.
>
>This version of sexually aggressive masculinity is not inevitable. The
>first generation of fraternity men would not have recognized it because
>they did not live in a world that denigrated their intimacy or encouraged
>them to prove their masculinity through sexual conquest, at least not to
>the degree that we see today. Of course not all fraternity men necessarily
>practice it, and just how many of them subscribe to this version of
>masculinity is impossible to calculate. That said, it should not surprise
>us that the structure and the historical context of the fraternity give
>rise to this phenomenon: an all-male organization intent on proving
>masculinity in a world where masculinity is seen as antithetical to
>intimacy amongst men, because that intimacy is too often understood to be
>”gay.” Until fraternity men learn to be more comfortable with the intimacy
>fostered through the bonds of brotherhood without demanding its concurrent
>disavowal through homophobia and the conquest of women, it seems unlikely
that women will be much safer on college campuses with active Greek
populations.

© 2009 National Sexuality Resource Center All rights reserved.

By Hank Nuwer

Journalist Hank Nuwer is the Alaska author of Hazing: Destroying Young Lives; Broken Pledges: The Deadly Rite of Hazing, High School Hazing, Wrongs of Passage and The Hazing Reader. In April of 2024, the Alaska Press Club awarded him first place in the Best Columnist division and Best Humorist, second place.

He has written articles or columns on hazing for the Sunday Times of India, Toronto Globe & Mail, Harper's Magazine, Orlando Sentinel, The Chronicle of Higher Education and the New York Times Sunday Magazine. His current book is Hazing: Destroying Young Lives from Indiana University Press. He is married to Malgorzata Wroblewska Nuwer of Warsaw, Poland and Fairbanks, Alaska. Nuwer is a former columnist for the Greenville (Ohio)Early Bird and former managing editor of the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner in Alaska.
Nuwer was named the Ohio Society of Professional Journalists columnist of the year in 2021 for his “After Darke” column in the Early Bird. He also won third place for the column in 2022 from the Indiana chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists. He and his wife Gosia, recently of Union City, Ind., have owned 20 acres in Alaska for many years. “The move is a sort-of coming home for us,” said Nuwer. As a journalist, he’s written about the Alaskan Iditarod sled-dog race and other Alaska topics. Read his musings in his blog at Real Alaska Daily--http://realalaskadaily.com and in his weekly column "Far from Randolph" in the Winchester Star-Gazette of Randolph County, Indiana.

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